therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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