i permit you to call me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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