i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize