You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
