We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
