you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
