just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
