i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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