I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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