I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
