she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Panties = found
Randomize
