i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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