that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize