So drunk its hurt
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
