The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
