I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
