So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize