need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
