It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
