You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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