mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
