C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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