So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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