Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
