dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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