I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
