Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
