dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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