i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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