he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
