Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
