Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
