Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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