OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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