he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize