Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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