just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
