I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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