i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
