it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How does it feel to date your dad?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
