the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
