Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
