they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
