Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
