So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
