we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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