Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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