If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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