We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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