life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
