Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
