I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
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Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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