my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Less talking, more tequila
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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