Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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