girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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