I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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