just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize