Tell her she can't have a vagina
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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