That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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