Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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